The decision wasn’t easy for me to make; I had sometime to think about it & I hope that it’s the best decision for her.

This past Friday night, I discovered that some of the bedding in Brain’s cage was red. She was bleeding again. This time, it was worse because part of her intestine was sticking out, too. This happened during the weekend when the vet clinic was closed & all I could do was syringe feed her & hope that she would last until Monday to see the vet. She stopped bleeding after a night, but she still wasn’t herself — she was very lethargic & stayed in her house throughout the weekend, which wasn’t normal at all.

I finally got an appointment with the senior vet, not the vet who diagnosed Brain last time. The senior vet agrees with the previous diagnosis that the lump is cancer. The reason why the intestine prolapsed is because Brain’s reproductive system has been strained. Even if the intestine was put back in, that’s not the underlying problem. In the classes that he teaches, the vet uses hamsters of all stages of life to study cancer & he explains that the chance of Brain’s cancer to come back is high even after it’s been removed. Not being able to see her anatomy, he suspected that the cancer was either in the urinary tract or in the reproductive system, since both empty out through the urethra where the blood was coming out from. I didn’t want to surgery performed on Brain to remove the cancer if the cancer was going to come back, unnecessarily forcing Brain to undergo repeated procedures. The vet mentioned that Brain’s hunchback meant that she was in pain. After hearing all the options, I didn’t immediately decide for euthanasia. The more I weighed the options, the more conflicted I became, especially not knowing how Brain truly felt.

She will be cremated and her ashes will be spread onto a local pet cemetery ground. I think I will visit it next week.